Tag Archives: weight

Am I Fighting an Incurable Disease?

Everyone know what it is like to feel crushed. I feel so f*cking crushed right now. Bulimia has won tonight. It is devouring every inch of me, I want to sink inside myself and shrivel up. I don’t particularly want … Continue reading

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I don’t understand myself.

I find it bizarre how I tell myself I should be someone else. You can fault other people but you can’t change them. But surely the one person you can change is yourself? The one person you can rely on … Continue reading

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Justifying an eating disorder.

I sometimes imagine what I would say to someone who told me I was pathetic for having bulimia, or who told me to stop being so weak. I try to imagine how I would justify scowling and letting the sun … Continue reading

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Recovering

I think I am getting better. I believe I am getting better. The past 3 days I have eaten 1540. I went to the gym the day before last and this morning I went for a run in the sunshine … Continue reading

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Cathartic.

I believe today was the last time I binged. I woke up, and reached for a chocolate granola bar by my bed. I spent that afternoon feeling sick and having cramps in my stomach, and fell asleep because I felt … Continue reading

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Recovery – I am ready.

Today, was another day in the life of restriction. Well it was. Until it turned out to be hopefully the biggest turning point in nearly 4 years. I binged last night. Then before bed I poured apple juice over the … Continue reading

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I’ll be who you dreamed I would be

When I was just a little girl I envisaged who I wanted to be She was pretty and smart and funny But she most certainly wasn’t ‘me’ . Because I am a woman at war Not in unity with my … Continue reading

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