I believe today was the last time I binged.
I woke up, and reached for a chocolate granola bar by my bed. I spent that afternoon feeling sick and having cramps in my stomach, and fell asleep because I felt so exhausted. Mum said I looked white and my eyes looked dark.
Then tonight I had a spout of energy and started tidying. I am throwing the old me away, the clutter, the unnecessary waste of space. I can’t keep things because I may or may not want them one day. I cannot keep a watch because it holds memories from 10 years ago. I cannot live in this squalor anymore.
I am about 1/3 of the way there, and have filled 2 bin bags. I don’t really know how I have done it or where it is all coming from but it is very therapeutic. I didn’t know I had so much stuff! And more importantly I don’t plan to buy enough to create such clutter again.
Tomorrow I start living again. I have space, room to breathe, and energy to focus on the ED because for the time being exams are done and I can clear my room as a metaphor for decluttering my mind.
I am going to start a scrapbook to keep track of my progress.
I am going to eat 1600 calories.
I believe I can do this.