Monthly Archives: May 2013

I just want you to understand.

People who have never had an eating disorder simply cannot understand They can try they’re best but will never truly get it. And this isn’t a criticism; I didn’t understand before I had one, what would compell you to do … Continue reading

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How?

I don’t know how to pretend I’m fine anymore. I’m not; I just thought maybe it’d be better if I woke up dead so I didn’t have to fight another day out with my own self today. Let alone the … Continue reading

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Take two.

I know you’ve heard this before; I too have heard this before. But that doesn’t mean I cannot try again, simply because I cannot carry on the way I have been. For a week now I have been eating my … Continue reading

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Positive? Negative? Neutral.

I am not happy. I am not sad. I am however scared but when am I not scared of everything in life? I am happy because it is my last week of lectures this week. Then I can go home … Continue reading

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It’s that day I’ve been nervous of; ‘tomorrow’. I am, so far, so good. Touch wood. I decided to log what I ate yesterday on the forms for the ED people to see. I cannot hide my binges. It’s like … Continue reading

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Rotting.

I am rotting, I am rotting My soul melts and fades Dissolved by thoughts of illness Killed by this mental plague I don’t know how to be strong When my walls are crumbling down I don’t know how to look … Continue reading

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Failure.

It’s half three. I had a banana and some grapes for lunch. Then just now boiled eggs, but they were horrible. I knew I wouldn’t be eating again until about 8pm tonight and I cracked. Tomorrow really has to be … Continue reading

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